megwan01.diaryland.com
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Fucking out of there! Woohoo! So, I finally got out of that god forsaken room. God I hate them. Whats worse though is knowing they will be so nice to Heidi. They wont treat her like they treated me. See, that's why I am not as mad with germany cory for acting like this to me. He does it to EVERYONE, but Misty, she just does it to me. I have watched her and she doesnt do it to ANYONE else. Its like telling me indirectly that I am weird, and not in a good way. I know I am weird, and I got used to it in virginia. I found people there that tolerated it, and was just as weird as I am. Like Lizhan. Thats why we were both such good friends, because we could both relate to the level of loserness we had. Having to put up with these people makes me miss Lizhan, alot. She was the last Girl I could easily talk to about anything. Well, that's not true I guess I could talk to Jacqueline about anything...or at least I was really comfortable around her. I would say that I want to move back to virginia, but I would have to deal with people like this anywhere I go. I guess I am really one of those awkward people, but I know there are people that can deal very well with that. If they didnt, I wouldnt have had any boyfriends so far. I think I am less awkward around guys though. I know whenever a guy like Isaac or Ben walks into the room I light right up and talk talk talk. But around girls, I put up a gaurd. Probably for several reasons like I have had way too many traumatic experiences with them (the ones after Lizhan making her seem like a saint), and I know there is no possibility with them for me to go out with them. That is unless I decide to become a polygamist with cory. I want to officially apologize to Virginia Cory for completely being a "wall" when talking to him online. I do have reasons, and its no because I dont love him and all that. 1) I almost never have alone time and whenever I do I really am not horny enough to do anything. 2) For the last week I have only had a computer at the computer center, which is not a good place for any of the conversations we have. 3) Now that I am rooming with Melissa, I am trying to bond with her and get a good relationship going with her. So for all those reasons I have been so ADD with him, and I thank him for listening to me, being patient with me, and just being there to talk to. I am looking forward to seeing him wheen I get back to virginia, actually letting these gaurds down...among other things :) Today he told me "Oh, so the tv is your other boyfriend, I see how it is." So I guess he's my boyfriend if I read into that. Ok I gotta go. Im going to update a couple things then see if I can get some ummmm.....reading....done, while I am alone in the room and all :) Night |
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� 20 years old |
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