Reasons to date me
3:10 p.m. - Saturday, Oct. 16, 2004
I found a list somewhere of reasons to date that person, and so I came up with a few of my own. :) Ill see if I can get up to 500 soon
1. I give good back rubs.
2. I'm a good listener.
3. It's more fun than hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
4. I shave my legs.
5. I have never broken into a bear's home and eaten all his porridge.
6. I have no communicable diseases.
7. You might actually enjoy it.
8. If asked I would poke sharp objects into my ear on the first date.
9. I didn't shoot J.R.
10. I can usually eat spaghetti without getting sauce on my shirt.
11. I have never pulled the football away from Charlie Brown
12. I can, at the touch of a button, have a pizza delivered to me in 30 minutes or less.
13. Cats seem to like me.
14. I don't cry over spilled milk.
15. I give foot rubs when asked.
16. I have never locked myself in a car.
17. I would not horribly disfigure your child while it was inside of me.
18. I'm really a nice person once you get to know me.
19. You've probably never gone out with a woman who has played pool naked.
20. Would you want to be known throughout history as "the one who let *Megan Kelly* get away"?
21. I like to fly kites.
22. I could be an alien from another dimension hell bent on world domination if asked.
23. I would not complain to you about how high-heeled shoes feel.
24. I seldom pick a fight with inanimate objects.
25. I believe that every person has the potential to become great.
26. I played no part in the Cuban Missile Crisis.
27. I feel that laying in bed and thinking is an excellent way to spend time.
28. I won't bore you by talking about my stamp collection.
29. I won�t outdo you in any way.
30. I always remember to use pixie dust when attempting to jump out of a window and fly.
31. I change my toothbrush when the blue color-bristles go away.
32. I feel that a relationship can exist without sex if it needs to.
33. I don�t plan my outfits at night, I have other things to do.
34. I speak 2 and a 1/3 languages: English, � of Spanish, � of c++, and a 1/3 of java.
35. You'll forever wonder what you're missing if you don't date me.
36. I enjoy combing my hands through a mans hair.
37. I am willing to any of the crap you listen to
38. I'm not *that* much of an eyesore.
39. I take a shower at least once a day.
40. I have not been proven to cause holes in the ozone Layer.
41. I'm housebroken.
42. You could devirginize me.
43. Pamela Anderson is taken; who's left?
44. I have never lost a pole-vault competition.
45. I have never hit a silver-medallist in the knee with a club.
46. Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment. (John 7:24 NIV)
47. I don't wear white shoes after Labor Day.
48. I don't turn into a werewolf during a full moon.
49. I seldom eat crackers in bed.
50. I can find Waldo.
51. I am heterosexual.
52. I have never committed a violent crime.
53. I had many dreams of having sex with women before I had one with a man.
54. My stuffed animal wants to kill you, but don�t worry, I will save you.
55. RPG�s fascinate me.
56. You haven't had a sufficient dose of strangeness in your life.
57. I am excellent at compiling purposeless lists.
58. The possibility exists that I am more fun in person than via computer.
59. I have never gotten into a tug-of-war with a marine platoon.
60. I have all of my senses.
61. I have never landed a light aircraft on the Whitehouse lawn.
62. Nor have I landed a light aircraft near the Kremlin.
63. I think a good date is spending a day on the couch playing video games.
64. I believe the rabbit should be given some Trix.
65. I hardly ever slurp when drinking soup.
66. I have never mis-used Flubber in order to win a basketball game.
67. I have never opened fire on a group of unarmed people.
68. I will do your laundry.
69. If you don't like it, I promise to give you a full refund.
70. My name does not appear in a Judith Krantz novel.
71. Nobody can heat up a TV dinner better than I can.
72. I don't use "pet names" for body parts.
73. So far, I have managed to not decapitate myself.
74. The voices in my head told me you would like me.
75. My toothpaste has been shown to be an effective decay preventive dentifrice that can be of significant value when used as directed in a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and regular professional care.
76. I do not drink and drive. (At least not alcohol. Coke, maybe.)
77. I use a calling card that I bought with my own money�that my parents sent to me.
78. It will be a life-enriching experience.
79. I have never been captain of, nor been aboard the Exxon Valdez.
80. My psychic friends said you will.
81. There is a refreshing absence of monsters under my bed lately.
82. I have never caused a bunny to tear the buttons off his jacket while he was trying to escape from my garden.
83. I wont use a corny pickup line to pick you up.
84. I would give up my appendix for the right man.
85. My blender has never had a frog in it.
86. No tyrannical system of government is named after me.
87. I can change a flat tire while wearing a skirt and heels.
88. I have never passed out on any world leader's front lawn.
89. I'm smarter than the average bear.
90. I promise to spend very little of our time together staring at other women.
91. Just do it!
92. I am a redneck woman.
93. I can put a flea collar on a cat without getting bitten.
94. I seldom get my teeth stuck together when eating a Jolly Rancher candy.
95. I'm getting fewer and fewer "ice-cream headaches".
96. I am trustworthy. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
97. I am loyal. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
98. I am helpful. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
99. I am friendly. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
100. I have never chopped down a truffula tree in order to knit a thneed.
101. I had no part in the extinction of either the dodo or the passenger pigeon.
102. I have never attempted to dance naked in a Jerry Lewis telethon.
103. I have never yelled "Fire!" in a crowded theatre.
104. I am courteous. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
105. I am kind. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
106. I am obedient. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
107. I am cheerful. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
108. It's more fun than doing your income taxes.
109. I have never tried to convince Henny-Penny that the sky is falling.
110. I understand the difference between their, there, and they're.
111. I would laugh if an old person tripped while crossing the street.
112. I am thrifty. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
113. I am brave. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
114. I am clean. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
115. I am reverent. (re: Boy Scout Handbook - Scout Laws)
116. I was nowhere near the grassy knoll on November 3rd, 1963.
117. I think the Hardy Boys are better at detective work than nancy drew.
118. Resistance is futile.
119. I'll supply the chocolate chip cookies.
120. I have never gambled away my soul in Las Vegas.
121. I have no plans yet to give the Pope a wedgie.
122. I have never been a telemarketer.
123. I have never put a red shirt in with the whites.
124. I can leap tall housecats in a single bound.
125. I am gainfully unemployed.
126. I have never been involved in the shipment of plutonium to Germany.
127. I smell my milk before drinking it
128. You know in your heart that it's the right thing to do.
129. I have never caused a traffic accident because I was rearranging myself.
130. I usually remember to take the shell off an egg before eating it.
131. I have gotten to the Tootsie-roll center of a Tootsie-Pop without biting.
132. We are of opposite genders in the same species.
133. Extensive research has proven that I am, indeed, a carbon based life form.
134. I have never smuggled tinkertoys onto an international flight.
135. I know all the words to the "Gilligan's Island" theme, but won't sing it unless asked.
136. I can have it my way at Burger King.
137. I am hardly ever referred to as 'infernal'.
138. I use my seat belt.
139. I'm no worse than most other women, and maybe better than some.
140. It would make me smile.
141. It might make you smile too.
142. I subscribe to the theory that the world is round.
143. I know the capital of New York.
144. I usually answer the phone.
145. I have a pulse.
146. I have never committed bestiality.
147. I know where the fire alarms are.
148. I make a concentrated effort not to spit when I talk.
149. I support public radio.
150. I support the Girl Scouts by buying cookies.
151. I always shave my snatch before a social occasion.
152. I can write a check.
153. I rarely try to use expired coupons at the grocery store.
154. I have seen a penis shaped cloud
155. I wont ever ask you �Whats a library?�.
156. I don�t go with the idea that we are all related somehow.
157. I always drown my campfires before leaving the campsite.
158. Rarely do I take candy from strangers.
159. I never ring doorbells and run away before they answer.
160. I have called the christian children�s fund, asked for a child, and decided not to send any money to the poor little bastard.
161. Rarely do I eat paste between meals.
162. I have not wet my bed for at least two weeks now.
163. I might have the urge to touch myself in public.
164. I seldom pick up hitch-hikers.
165. I don�t know the word for �foot fetish��I know its not pedophile.
166. I know the periodic table symbol for gold.
167. Ill drown so you can do cpr on me.
168. I know how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver.
169. I have never been used as a human sacrifice.
170. I close the cover before striking a safety match.
171. I have never stopped to think and forgotten to start again.
172. I am cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
173. I will try not to set the house on fire when cooking.
174. No one has ever mistaken me for Manuel Noriega.
175. The part I played in the bombing of Hiroshima is largely exaggerated.
176. I'm cuddly.
177. My sister is a model.
178. I practice "safe FAX" by always using a cover sheet.
179. I have read and understand copyright law.
180. I'm growing older, but not growing up.
181. I never pile up old magazines or newspapers where they could be a fire hazard.
182. I can do toungue tricks.
183. Never have I failed a quest given me by a King.
184. I put my life in harms way by always standing on a swivel chair to get to a high spot.
185. The police have never considered me to be a large black man.
186. I was not directly responsible for the Holocaust.
187. I�ve been called an amazon warrior princess.
188. I watch closely when stepping onto an escalator.
189. It is increasingly rare that I place fake artifacts in an archeological dig.
190. I have not yet capsized a canoe.
191. I have never collapsed while running the Boston Marathon.
192. I am fully functional.
193. I have a current safety inspection on my car.
194. I try to help the sane adjust to reality.
195. I am not responsible for the misuse of gravity.
196. Math and alcohol don't mix, so I never drink and derive.
197. I "Just Say No" to drugs.
198. I practice random kindness.
199. I would take great pride and pleasure in shooting any purple dinosaur.
200. I was an indian princess, and still am a virgin.
201. I beat anorexia.
202. The term "mundane" has seldom been used to describe me.
203. A cheap thrill is still a thrill.
204. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life.
205. I am understanding.
206. I'm an accomplice at sneaking snacks into movies.
207. I am on the �pill�.
208. I only have pms once every four months.
209. Occasionally, I have been known to have a clue.
210. I will try not to be a cocktease.
211. I am inexperienced, so you�ll have to demonstrate.
212. I have smoke detectors in my college dorm.
213. Try it, you'll *like* it.
214. When getting off an elevator at a 20+ story building, I push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor.
215. I have never attempted to pull a rabbit out of a hat and gotten a lion instead.
216. Rarely have I torn the tags off my pillows.
217. I am weird enough for most purposes.
218. I have read several Caldecott award-winning books.
219. I would probably be fired on the apprentice.
220. I'm not easy, but we can discuss it.
221. I don't *just* want to grope your body.
222. I rarely dispose of alkaline batteries in a fire.
223. I will never have you kidnapped.
224. There is no proof of my being involved in Hitler's rise to power.
225. Take me now. There will be plenty of time for normal people later.
226. Rarely do flashing lights mesmerize me for more than 10 minutes.
227. I have never tried to pick up men in a city park.
228. When choosing between two evils, I always try to pick the one I've never done.
229. I lift heavy objects with a straight back and my knees bent.
230. I have been able to correctly answer 4 of 5 questions on the MacDonalds Disney trivia Challenge.
231. Thor thinks you should.
232. Zeus agrees with him.
233. I seldom turn the volume on my stereo up sufficiently to shake the neighbors' walls.
234. I have never been responsible for starting a war, or even a border dispute.
235. I do not suffer from lockjaw (foot-in-mouth disease is another matter).
236. Only once have I been mistaken for a guy.
237. I have never played a mean trick on Smokey the Bear.
238. I try to keep up with all the latest national enquirer news.
239. Unlike Henry VIII, I have never had any of my wives beheaded.
240. I never liked Nsync.
241. It only seems kinky the first time.
242. I have never made an obscene phone call to Bill Clinton (or Hillary, either).
243. Not even once have I scraped my vegetables onto my grandmother's plate when no one was looking.
244. I will administer honey whenever you feel the need.
245. As far as I know, I don�t admit to having sex with children in my sleep. (At least, I've never heard myself doing so).
246. I have proof I am a woman.
247. I rarely stare directly at the sun.
248. Biological imperatives override cultural and intellectual considerations.
249. I'm willing to supply cold milk, warm backrubs, and hot baths. In other words: all temperature cheer.
250. I always hoped tinky winky was gay.
251. I'm the best there is at what I do.
252. I will be your white trash wife.
253. I usually put comment blocks in my programs.
254. I'll try anything 4 or 5 times. It may be an acquired taste.
255. I have never been involved in a Viking raiding party.
256. You and I were meant to be, period. Cue happy ending music.
257. I don't play records backwards and pretend to hear satanic messages.
258. I am smarter than a computer. I can count past 1.
259. I have an imagination, and I don't mind using it.
260. I have never been responsible for, nor participated in, an arranged marriage.
261. I occasionally stumble across the truth.
262. I have never used a motor vehicle to create an additional opening in a building
263. I have dropped buttered bread and had it land butter-side-up on the floor.
264. My face has never appeared on an FBI wanted poster.
265. I have seldom flashed a roomful of people.
266. I believe in the five-second rule.
267. I make my bed at least 50% of the time.
268. I don't let friends drive drunk.
269. I have discount cards at three major bookstores.
270. I rarely employ multi-megaton warheads for insect control.
271. You intrigue me.
272. I only *look* innocent.
273. I am a wannabe slut.
274. When I jump into the air, I always remember to come down again.
275. I'm nobody's fool. If you would like me to be yours, just say so.
276. God broke the mold when he made me.
277. I have never exceeded the speed limit by more than 4 times.
278. I occasionally practice senseless acts of beauty.
279. I have never put sugar in a car's gas tank.
280. I'll respect you in the morning.
281. I have never stuffed a ballot box.
282. I can be easily entertained for hours with a simple terminal and modem connection.
283. I have scanned my PC for viruses.
284. Oral arouses me.
285. I have never attempted to re-decorate an art gallery.
286. I always wanted to be someone in one of picasso paintings.
287. I rarely black out for more than a few seconds
288. I try not to make a habit out of wrecking marriages.
289. I try to never take myself too seriously.
290. The only kind of nuts I don�t like are part of the food pyramid.
291. I can beat you at super smash brothers.
292. I usually remember to wear shoes.
293. I have never stepped in a bear trap.
294. I have very little trouble remembering where I live.
295. There is seldom any doubt that I am not human.
296. Some people have children to buy toys. I feel it's cheaper and more dignified to cut out the middleman and buy toys for myself.
297. I yield to temptation.
298. I will shave my head before it grays.
299. I know the difference between a bumblebee and a yellow jacket.
300. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
301. I'm all-natural, no artificial colors or flavors.
302. I have never tried to out-stubborn a cat.
303. I'm the sort of woman who reads Playboy
304. I am usually on time for work.
305. I am the culmination of millions of years of random mutations.
306. I have a way of talking voice to voice with you for free, no matter where you are.
307. I have never played leapfrog with a unicorn.
308. I am not, nor have I ever been, an attorney.
309. I have had all my shots.
310. I'm unique.
311. I have never attempted to run down a skier with a power boat.
312. My life is no more complicated than any cast member on Melrose Place.
313. I have impeccable taste in men.
314. I know what a subwoofer is.
315. I don�t have an oedipus rex complex.
316. I rooted for the sniper.
317. I have never been responsible for causing an avalanche.
318. I have read and understand the EIA RS-232 specification.
319. I will have sex with you in a public place.
320. I always proofread carefully to see if I any words out.
321. My Rolling Stones albums have no moss on them.
322. I'm trying to commit suicide by sexual overdose and I need your help.
323. It's been over a year since I last got my neck tangled in a telephone cord
324. I have never poured soap into a swimming pool or fountain.
325. I am only open and honest in relationships if its with a man.
326. I have never been struck by lightning while simultaneously being hit by a falling meteorite
327. I'm user-friendly.
328. I have never resorted to cannabalism.
329. I have made mistakes, but I'm a stronger person because of it.
330. I have never pretended to be an Egyptian deity.
331. I am an insomniac, giving me plenty of time to get *stuff* done.
332. I deny reality whenever possible.
333. I always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.
334. I am mildly psychotic.
335. If you don't, you'll feel bad about it in the morning.
336. My mommy and daddy didn�t give me enough hugs when I was little.
337. I have never tried to float a Volkswagen.
338. I never put off until tomorrow what I can put off indefinitely.
339. I've been told that I'm generous to a fault.
340. It is extremely rare that I leave the dorm wearing one black and one blue sock.
341. I have my own toothbrush.
342. I can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'.
343. I have never played an accordion in public.
344. I will not choose god over you.
345. I have never exploited the tradition of mistletoe to kiss my aunt.
346. I am not saving all of my eggs for a special person.
347. I have never bred a new species of fruit fly.
348. I have never molded an obscene Jello salad.
349. Being in a minority, even a minority of one, does not make one insane.
350. I am not a chick�.cluck.
351. I snatch kisses, and vice-versa.
352. No virulent strains of ebola are named after me
353. I can usually open those pesky jar lids.
354. I am alive, occupying space, and exerting gravitational force.
355. I'm pretty good at logic problems.
356. I have not ever fallen off a mountain.
357. I refuse to play 'let's hide grandma's teeth'
358. I own my own body, but I share.
359. This reason intentionally left blank.
360. I will not lick my fingers and adjust your hair in public.
361. I have vanishingly few homicidal tendencies.
362. I will not stalk you�.just merely observe you.
363. You are falling madly in lust with me, you just haven't realized it yet.
364. I have never once burned an egg while trying to boil it.
365. I have never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinski.
366. I'm not related to Micheal Jackson.
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