megwan01.diaryland.com
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Stress sucks I am so tired. All week I have had so little time for just me. I am so used to being alone that when I get things to do, I just feel overwhelmed. I have been stressing out over so many things that I know I dont need to worry about. Sometimes I just want to tell people "You know what? I dont even want to know" because if they tell me I will spend way too much time thinking it over. Saying that though would not be me. I think about others problems when I have a lack of problems. You would think that if life was good I would enjoy it. No...I find things to worry over. Maybe I am addicted to worrying... This week I had to get everything done for college. Not because it was due, but because I felt I needed to get it done. I engrose my self in colleges when this state gets on my nerves. All the people around me have so many issues and the only sane ones are moving away soon. Thats how it has always been. Friday, in child development class we had way too much drama. This girl named bailey came in crying because her ex boyfriend had tried to commit suicide, or so her boyfriend told her. We all made her a card and told her we loved her and everything and at the end of class, she got a call from the office saying it was a joke. We also got into a conversation branching from that about our fucked up middle school and it turns out Chrissy Valasquez was a girl that tried to kill herself, not from middle school but other reasons. I had talked to my family about a girl who commited suicide and heard everything about the funeral, but never knew it was Chrissy. Surprisingly enough, I almost cried. I sat there tearing up trying to understand why I was doing this. I never cry about deaths, I didnt even cry when my grandfather died. I knew her, but I wasnt close to her or anything. We also got to watch this video on bullying in middle school. Im telling you, it was a drama filled day. I turned in all my guidance information they need to fill out and send to my 6 schools. Then I went home and filled out the applications on the internet, paid for them, and now all I have to do is sit back and wait for a couple months, the hardest part. The stress is going to build up tremenodusly. I am not looking forward to it. I went to octoberfest at busch gardens with katie yesterday which was great. I actually enjoyed getting on the upside down rollercoasters, which was really weird. Of course, the whole time we were waiting in the lines for them I was saying we were going to die, but thats just enevitable. It was hard for me though to see all the couples there. I wanted a guy there to hold hands with and hug. I am so dependent on people. Well my sisters back so I am going to take her to qdoba and get something to eat and look at my schedule for next week. Hopefully I will work tommorow since we get off and everything. Bye. |
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� 20 years old |
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